It’s beginning to look like we’ve been snowed.
Occasionally I do jobs for a German company. The owner of Twin Eagle Corporation, David Schmidt, called last night for me to report for duty. Exactly what duty did not get much into the conversation. Just one of three possible things they find for me to do. It’s a feeder airline. Might be driving the small airplane that brings passengers from Northern Germany to their Club Med in Chemuyva Turkey, driving boat loads of tourists around the ancient Middle East sites. or making believe I’m a diplomat when dealing with foreign governments. Germans are not known for being very diplomatic. Americans are. That skill and me having an American passport the most needed in that company.
We seemed to be more interested in talking about what’s happening on both sides of the Atlantic. A few years ago, one time, despite knowing better, I used the N word while talking about someone. A warning for any tourists visiting Germany. Do not use an ethnic slur. They are still sensitive about what happened in the past. Do not say the word ‘Nazi’ either. They will admit there was a nice refined gentleman named Hitler. Anything about him is western propaganda. Don’t believe me? Go to the Chamber of Commerce at the Brandenburg gate and ask for directions to some Nazi sites.
“They are Brown people,” Herr Schmidt corrected me a little testily. Cannot even use the word ‘Black’ with them.
“Well David,” my answer to the question of what’s happening in America, “Your ‘Browns’ are destroying our cities. Minneapolis, Seattle, the city you like so much, San Francisco, my mother’s favorite city, Baltimore, Detroit, places like that, now look like Berlin did in nineteen forty six.”
“Yes, I do have see such things on news,” David answered, “das ist immaglich.” (that’s unbelievable)
“So tell me David, how are you people coping with this virus?”
“Why are you asking?”
“Our economy has been destroyed. No business going on anywhere. As many people out of work as in nineteen twenty nine. People are being kicked out of their apartments. More homes being foreclosed than during any time in the past. We call it ‘lock down.’ No one can go out any more. Everything is closed. And people outside their house have masks on, Looks eerie. How about you, what is your foreclosure rate?”
“Foreclosure?” “What is that?”
“It’s when a bank takes a house because the people inside cannot make the payments”
“No” David answered, “I not have hear about any” “And wht you mean by word “Mask?”
“To cover your face, so you cannot spread germs.”
“Auch mein gott! laughenlich.” (ridiculous)
“You mean you people are not wearing masks?”
“No.” “I just come back from Norway. There not either.”
“Well David, I’m so sorry to disappoint you like this, I know how much you and Didem love to visit America. Not only is it not the same country but is now too dangerous. Sadly, the number of people that are making it too dangerous are not very many. The vast majority are normal good Americans that need to suffer the stigmatism brought on by the few. But at least I do have a little good news for you. Your beloved Browns are coming around in droves. They realize how they have been used and manipulated for politics and votes. I want you to look at You Tube. A young Brown girl will walk you through Baltimore. You will see what Damascus and Beirut look like. Her name is Kimberly Klacik. She is running for office. I want you to donate to her campaign. Well, since you are so fond of America, I will not need to ask you. You will want to. Can you spare, say, ten thousand dollars?”
“Nateerlich” (of course) “If you say so”
“No no David. Not because I say to. Just watch the video. You will want to. In fact, I’ll bet you make it twenty thousand. And she is not alone. There are many more. Another young Brown beauty name of Candace Owens, look her up also, they have given us such hope that we will finally get a good honorable Brown President after Trump. They are a new breed. They are not the usual deceitful power hungry politicians. There is an Army Colonel named ‘West’ that would make the best President we ever had. He will shut the rioters down in a hurry. And then, maybe you will be able to come over for a visit. But for now, we have a political problem. The two parties are at war. They have long forgotten the principles this country was founded on. They cannot even see there is too much of a track record to argue about anything. Every single city in America, I have not read the exact number, maybe a hundred and fifty, that are run by democrats, is in shambles. Bankrupt. The number of homeless. Decay. Poverty. Crime. Every city run by Republicans is flourishing. The people have money. Like you people. The city in good shape. Well kept up. One city in Georgia went way off to the right, crime went down to zero zero. So now the whole population can no longer ignore it. Politicians can no longer spin their way around the facts. Don’t take my word for it. Listen to my two new girlfriends. Yes David, they are my girlfriends. I’ll take either one. Ha. Like I have a chance. I can dream can I not? In the meantime, while I’m waiting for one of them to call me, tell Gauby I’m coming over. Miss her very much. Very anxious to see her. Tell Brigita also. Auf weidersahn.”
That is precisely, word for word, right down to the last syllable how our conversation went. Germans are fanatically meticulous about being certain every word they say is honest and truthful. So I can comfortably believe Mister Schmidt. However, I will be there in a week or so and see it all for myself.
I wrote that a few weeks ago. Have not been to Norway, but cruised around the Middle East, Austria and Germany. Did not see a mask. Am a dreamer anyhow. Thought about looking for Kimberlie’s number to ask her out on a date. By some kind of luck, I can have vivid dreams. Just kidding of course. No one can deny she sure is terrific. Imagine, that girl just might save our country.
I told an employee at a Flying J truck stop about my latest experience. He merely said; “they are not having an election in November are they?”